Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Of how I came to be a pirate


photo: Garance Doré

Something outrageous yet utterly incredible happened to me on Friday. I was walking down Conduit Street on my way to the tube to catch my monthly Eurostar home, lugging a gigantic suitcase, when out of the corner of my eye I spotted the Vivienne Westwood flagship store.

Now let me stress beforehand that I was neither particularly early for my train, nor could I really afford any of the shop's treasures. Had I the slightest inkling of what was about to happen, I would have walked passed without looking back (well maybe just a bit), but it just so happens that I had spent that particular afternoon ogling at Garance Doré's Pirate Boots. So I thought I would pop in, briefly, just to see if they looked as good in the flesh!
Well they did. They looked so good in fact that I had to try them on immediately. Ignoring my watch I asked to try them in the black and the light suede. The blacks came first, and although they were not the ones I was lusting after (my heart having already been lost to the suedes), I hurriedly kicked off my own little pixie boots and buckled up.

I gazed down at my feet and gasped … as my eyes met with a scene of devastation and carnage. Yes, you heard that right. Not dreamy insuppressible longing. Devastation. And Carnage.

I'm still not sure how it happened but my little finger was bleeding from the tiniest of paper cuts, and I had managed to get blood all over the soft untreated nude leather buckles. I glanced up in terror at the salesperson, who looked back at me and simply said: "that will be 395 pounds please”.

To this instant I still can't explain why I didn't just walk out. I mean I'm pretty sure a brand like Vivienne Westwood can absorb the costs of a single pair of damaged pirate boots (that or inform the next fashionista that the new collection is striving to look even more realistic - the fashion world after all has witnessed weirder things). I, on the other hand, am not going to be able to eat, and will be taking the bus for the rest of the month.

On the bright side, I did manage to negotiate a 10% discount. And on the blindingly dazzling bright side, I now own a pair of VW Pirate boots. In the wrong colour though. And slightly bloody. But you know, I think I will quickly come to terms with that. I hope I can get some pics up soon. Watch out though. Don’t get any silly ideas about going to try a pair on. You have been warned.

ps: If anyone knows to remove blood from leather, tips on a postcard please!

2 comments:

  1. wow, that's a story!! I had no idea u went back home evry month!!
    and since now u have the boots? u can wear them, they don't hurt or make ur feet bleed anymore?
    usually blood goes away with cold water, ice even and so...

    xXx

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  2. Good God, what a story! It has tragedy, heartbreak and ecstasy... : ) Seriously though, you should have slapped the salesgirl! That was cheeky of her. Those boots are so great though, you will have them forever!!

    Cakes
    http://www.cakesandshakes.wordpress.com

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